"House Hoare, Ironborn Kings of the Riverlands" is the third chapter of Conquest & Rebellion: An Animated History of the Seven Kingdoms, a special feature from Game of Thrones: The Complete Seventh Season. It is narrated by Harry Lloyd as Viserys Targaryen and Pilou Asbæk as Euron Greyjoy.
Euron Greyjoy: Harren of House Hoare inherited a kingdom that stretched from the Iron Islands to the Trident. Too great a kingdom to rule from a castle as shit as Pyke. For forty years his ironborn plundered the Riverlands for stone, timber and slaves to build a seat worthy of him. Legend has it that masons laid the final stone in Harrenhal on the very day that Aegon landed in Westeros. Could've been a divine omen. Could've been the masons wanted to fuck off before the dragons got there. They weren't the only ones. At Aegon's approach, Harren's riverlords revolted, led by House Tully. I doubt Harren noticed.
Harrenhal could repel an army of a million men. No ladder could summit its walls and ram could shatter them. The castle was as impregnable as an old maid's cunt. Harren shut his gates around himself, his sons and his ironborn, and waited for Aegon's army to drain back into the muck. When Aegon finally saw the monstrous castle, he asked for parley. Harren granted it. Valyria had been the greatest empire the world had ever seen. Harren wanted to piss on its ashes.
Viserys Targaryen: (as Aegon) "Yield now, and you may remain Lord of the Iron Islands. Yield now, and your sons will live to rule after you. You see my army outside your walls. You see my dragons."
Euron: (as Harren) "What is outside my walls is of no concern. Those walls strong and thick."
Viserys: (as Aegon) "Dragons fly."
Euron: (as Harren) "(laughs) But stone doesn't burn."
Viserys: (as Aegon) "When the sun sets, your line shall end."
Euron: Harren spat and returned to his castle. Once inside, he promised lands, riches and Tully's daughters to whoever could bring down Aegon or his dragon. As the sun sank below the horizon, all Harren's men patrolled the battlements, hearing wings in every gust of wind. But the moon rose and sank, and no dragon appeared.
Viserys: While the ironborn were ringing the battlements, Aegon drove his dragon Balerion higher and higher in the night sky, so that even the great castle of Harrenhal looked like an anthill below them. Then they plunged straight into the castle, well inside the guarded walls. The five towers of Harrenhal reached towards Aegon like a hand. Balerion opened his mouth and bathed all the fingers in flame.
Euron: Harren was right. Stone doesn't burn, but men do, even when they're ironborn (chuckles). The dragon blasted my ancestors into ash that choked the survivors when they screamed. Harren's soldiers leapt from the battlements and died. They huddled against the walls and died. They fled across the yard and died. Harren and his sons took shelter inside the castle. The stone didn't burn, but as Balerion blasted it with fire, it glowed white-hot (laughs). The world's greatest castle became the world's greatest oven, baking the last of House Hoare within it.
Viserys: Outside the castle walls, the towers of Harrenhal glowed red against the night and began to twist and melt like five huge candles, with liquid stone trickling down their sides like wax. The next morning, Aegon forged a new Riverlands. He named the rebel Edmyn Tully as his Lord Paramount of the Trident and had the other riverlords swear him fealty as their new liege. For centuries, House Hoare had terrorized the Riverlands. Under House Tully, the Riverlands would at last return to peace and prosperity. After the castle cooled enough to allow men inside, Aegon ventured into the ruin he had made of Harrenhal. He saw the ashen bodies, the scorched stone and the mangled and melted swords of his former enemies. To his men's confusion, he ordered these useless swords collected and sent to his Aegonfort.
- The Riverlands
- Valyria (mentioned)